Stateside Stories: Unplugged and Unscripted


(my personal catch of the winter at State College)

I've been in the USA for almost two years now, and it's been a rollercoaster ride. There have been good days, bad days, and times when I laughed so hard I cried. It's all part of this messy yet beautiful chapter in my life. A canvas of ups and downs that I've come to appreciate.

In the beginning, I questioned my life choices almost daily. I'd ask myself, "Why did I sign up for a Ph.D. here, of all places?" Adjusting to a new environment felt like trying to dance salsa when all I knew was the two-step. Everything was unfamiliar, and it was overwhelming.

Slowly, I realized that this journey wasn't just about earning a degree. I'm here because I love learning and genuinely diving into things that matter to me. It's not just about formal education but about growing as a person. Learning has changed the way I think and how I see the world. It's made me pause before I speak, consider the impact of my words, and understand the importance of being thoughtful.

Of course, life here isn't perfect. Not everyone is kind~~just like anywhere else. But I've always believed in finding the good wherever life plants me. One of the things I admire here is how people value time. Meetings start on time, and that small act makes a big difference. I've also come to appreciate the respect for personal boundaries, such as no nosy questions unless you invite someone into your world. And the equality in conversations here is refreshing. Whether you're an intern or a senior professional, your opinions matter. Most people I've met are genuinely passionate about their work, and that energy is contagious.

That doesn't mean it's been easy. My first year was chaos. Picture riding a unicycle while juggling flaming torches, that's what it felt like. There was coursework, research, and impostor syndrome. I even had to switch advisors at one point, which felt like changing lanes on a busy freeway. Plans fell apart, but I discovered that changes can become opportunities. My new research direction turned out to be a perfect fit, like finding a pair of sneakers that feel just right.

Some people think life as an international student is easy. I've heard things like, "What do you have to complain about? You already have this and that!" or "You've never had to struggle, right?" But let me tell you: it's not a competition about who has had it harder. I don't show my struggles to everyone, but I've had my share of challenges. During high school and undergrad, I juggled side jobs to pay for my daily needs, school supplies, and even the TOEFL test to apply for a scholarship. There were family issues along the way, too. Life wasn't easy back then, and those experiences taught me resilience. Now, I'm a planner~~always thinking ahead, always ready with a backup plan. It's because I know what it feels like to hit rock bottom without anyone to lean on.

This isn't just my story. Many international students go through similar struggles. Some deal with financial pressures, sending money home while cutting their own expenses. Others face heartbreak in long-distance relationships or even the loss of loved ones far away. I've seen friends continue attending classes even after hearing the devastating news of a parent's passing. Many juggle multiple roles—students, parents, spouses—while navigating life in a foreign country. It's not easy, but hats off to everyone who keeps going. You'll never fully understand their journey unless you've walked in someone's shoes.

So, how do I cope? I'm still figuring it out. I try to focus on finishing what I started while enjoying the process. When things get overwhelming, I cry, pray, or take a moment to reflect on how far I've come. I've learned to say no to things that drain my energy and prioritize what matters most. As I approach 30 (yes, it's coming!), I've become more comfortable setting boundaries and doing what feels right for me.

Sometimes, peace means staying in bed, listening to music, or taking a nap. Other times, it's cooking a meal that lifts my mood or connecting with people when the vibe feels right. There's no one-size-fits-all approach—do whatever brings you calm and joy.

And in those quiet moments, I often think about how vast this world is and how small I am in comparison. It reminds me that my struggles are just one tiny piece of this big, interconnected world. There's so much to learn, to experience, and to appreciate. That thought comforts me. No matter how heavy life feels, I remind myself that I'm just one person trying to make my way. The weight of the world doesn't rest on my shoulders, and that's okay. We're all a little uncertain about what's ahead, but we're on the right track as long as we keep moving forward and take pauses when we need to. In the end, the person who knows you best is you. I'm genuinely happy for you if you're in a good place right now. And if you're not, my prayers are with you. Hang in there—better days are coming.

-typed from a small town in Pennsylvania amidst the snowfall (Winter 2023)

Location: State College, PA, USA

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